Dr. Christopher Cortman

I sometimes hear my clients plea with their spouses or significant others in a desperate attempt to save a dying relationship. They say things like “You are throwing away 22 years together for another guy?” or “How can you waste 15 years of my life by leaving me?” or “I had to stay with her, or 34 years of my life would have been poured down the drain!”

I can still remember the conversation, almost verbatim: "Dr. Cortman, this is Rachel from ABC Bank. How are you today, Sir?"

Me: I'm well, thank you, Rachel, unless you tell me otherwise."

Rachel: No, sir. But I did want to ask you a question: "Did you try to move your Home Equity account lately?"

Me: " Move it, no. Why do you ask?"

Rachel:"Well, we had a man in a North Carolina branch yesterday who said he was you. We have you in our files as a doctor; he told us he is a carpenter. Do you know any carpenters?"

Approximately Two Thousand years ago, a very wise man said, "It is more blessed to give than receive." 

(Hint: He's celebrating another birthday this Christmas.) And, although we often behave as a nation of individuals who hinge their happiness upon the latest acquisition, there seems to be sufficient enough reason to resurrect the old Jesus quote. In fact, there may be several good reasons.

First, we live in a county that continues to emphasize philanthropic giving, even in the midst of an economic downturn. In fact, from all indications, charitable donations in Sarasota County are on THE INCREASE contrary to all logical expectations.

As a psychologist, I was fairly sure I knew what characteristics define successful people. Don't we all? I mean, successful people are confident, ambitious, risk-takers who persevere in the midst of setbacks and challenges. But, just to be sure, I decided to do some research into the characteristics of successful people. What I gleaned from my efforts is this: 1) many successful people write lists of characteristics of successful people, 2) nobody's list looks anything like anybody else's list and 3) therefore, each list of characteristics of successful people is probably nothing more than a flattering self-portrait of the writers themselves.